Sunday, February 18, 2007

Sunday, February 18, 2007

I am a terrible mother! We decided to go hard core potty training with Harris as we had 4 consecutive days with him at home. He is doing so awesome almost no accidents - pee and poo! However, I did know better than to take him to his Music and Movement class in gitch rather than a pull-up for 3 reasons:
1 - It is a bit much to expect him mid song or game to tell me he has to go pee when we have just started venture out in public with underroos on
2 - The bathroom is actually on floor below the gym the are in (U of M)????
3 - It would be way more stressful on all of to have an accident

So, what happens...well, Kirby and I are running around like mad getting both kids ready to go and we forget about the pull-up. The class is almost over and mid-song he whispers to me..."Mom, I have to go pee" Then I proceed to tell him "Go in your pants - that's ok" because I assume he is wearing a pull-up. He goes! He looks like he is going to cry and I look down check his pants and realize I forgot to get him out of his gitch and he has gone pee on my command. I felt TERRIBLE!

I am not going to vent on here about my hubbie but why is it a mom can get 10 things done around the house for every 1 thing a guy can. ENOUGH said:) Although I will say after my gigantic temper tantrum and numerous dirty looks - he did get the point and has stepped it uo a bit. The question is for how long this time?

Here is something very funny!


Are you ready to have kids? Here are 16 easy lessons to help prepare
>>yourself!
>
>>LESSON 1
>>1. Go to the grocery store.
>>2. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
>>3. Go home.
>>4. Pick up the paper. Read it for the last time.
>>
>>LESSON 2
>>Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who
>>already are parents and berate them about their...
>>1. Methods of discipline.
>>2. Lack of patience.
>>3. Appallingly low tolerance levels.
>>4. Allowing their children to run wild.
>>Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's breastfeeding,
>>sleep habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior.
>>Enjoy it, because it will be the last time in your life you will have
>>all the answers.
>>
>>LESSON 3
>>To discover how the nights will feel...
>>1. Walk around the living room from 5PM to 10PM carrying a wet bag
>>weighing approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or
>>some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly.
>>2. At 10PM, put the bag down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to
> sleep.
>>3. Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag,
>>until 1AM.
>>4. Set the alarm for 3AM.
>>5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2AM and make a drink.
>>6. Go to bed at 2:45AM.
>>7. Get up at 3AM when the alarm goes off.
>>8. Sing songs in the dark until 4AM.
>>9. Get up. Make breakfast.
>>Keep this up for 5 years. Look cheerful.
>>
>>LESSON 4
>>Can you stand the mess children make? To find out...
>>1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.
>>2. Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all
>
>>summer.
>>3. Stick your fingers in the flower bed. Then rub them on the clean
> walls.
>>4. Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?
>>
>>LESSON 5
>>Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.
>>1. Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh.
>>2. Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms
>>hang out.
>>Time allowed for this - all morning.
>>
>>LESSON 6
>>1. Take an egg carton. Using a pair of scissors and a jar of paint,
>>turn it into an alligator.
>>2. Now take the tube from a roll of toilet paper. Using only Scotch
>>tape and a piece of aluminum foil, turn it into an attractive Christmas
>
>>candle.
>>3. Last, take a milk carton, a ping-pong ball, and an empty box of
>>Cocoa Puffs. Make an exact replica of the Eiffel Tower.
>>You're now ready for school projects
>>
>>LESSON 7
>>Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van. And don't think that you can leave
>>it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look
>>like that.
>>1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment.
>>Leave
>>it there.
>>2. Get a dime. Stick it in the cassette player.
>>3. Take a family size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the
>>back seat.
>>4. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.
>>There. Perfect.
>>
>>LESSON 8
>>1. Get ready to go out for a walk.
>>2. Wait outside the bathroom for half an hour.
>>3. Go out the front door.
>>4. Come in again.Go out.
>>5. Come back in.
>>6. Go out again.
>>7. Walk down the front path.
>>8. Walk back up it.
>>9. Walk down it again.
>>10. Walk very slowly down the road for five minutes.
>>11. Stop, inspect minutely, and ask at least 6 questions about every
>>cigarette butt, piece of used chewing gum, dirty tissue, and dead
>>insect along the way.
>>12. Retrace your steps.
>>13. Scream that you have had as much as you can stand until the
>>neighbors come out and stare at you.
>>14. Give up and go back into the house.
>>You are now just about ready to try taking a small child for a walk.
>>
>>LESSON 9
>>Repeat everything at least (if not more than) five times.
>>
>>LESSON 10
>>1. Go to the local grocery store. Take with you the closest thing you
>>can find to a pre-school child. (A full- grown goat is excellent). If
>>you intend to have more than one child, take more than one goat.
>>2. Buy your week's groceries without letting the goats out of your
> sight.
>>Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys.
>>Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having
>>children.
>>
>>LESSON 11
>>1. Hollow out a melon.
>>2. Make a small hole in the side.
>>3. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.
>>4. Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the
>>swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.
>>5. Continue until half the Cheerios are gone. Tip half into your lap.
>>The other half, just throw up in the air.
>>You are now ready to feed a nine- month old baby.
>>
>>LESSON 12
>>Learn the names of every character from Sesame Street , Barney, Disney,
>
>>the Teletubbies, and Pokemon. Watch nothing else on TV for at least
> five years.
>>
>>LESSON 13
>>Move to the tropics. Find or make a compost pile. Dig down about
>>halfway and stick your nose in it. Do this 3-5 times a day for at least
>
>>two years.
>>You're now ready to change diapers.
>>
>>LESSON 14
>>Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying "mommy" repeatedly.
>>(Important: no more than a four second delay between each "mommy";
>>occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet is required).
>>Play this tape in your car everywhere you go for the next four years.
>>You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.
>>
>>LESSON 15
>>Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continually
>
>>tug on your skirt hem, shirt- sleeve, or elbow while playing the
>>"mommy" tape made from Lesson 14 above. You are now ready to have a
>>conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.
>>
>>LESSON 16
>>Go into the living room, sit on your favorite chair. Pee & poop on the
>>chair, get up and run around the room continuing to pee. Change
>>yourself, clean up your mess. do this for 16 to seventeen times each
> day for a week.
>>Then, stop having accidents for one to two weeks.
>>Then on the third week begin peeing around the house again, cleaning up
>
>>after each accident. Do this for about six months.
>>You are now ready for potty training your two/three year old. If you
>>want to know what its like to potty train and have a new born, add in a
>
>>10-15 pound bag of potatoes. Carry it around as you pick up all the pee
>
>>& poop.
>>
>>IF YOU CAN ACCOMPLISH ALL OF THIS & STILL BE ACTIVE, CHEERFUL & "IN THE
>
>>MOOD", YOU'RE READY TO HAVE CHILDREN..............................
>

No comments: